in Love (Part 4)

September 17, 2011.... 

Michael and I were officially dating. I was elated! I was excited! I was a bit nervous because somewhere in the US was a computer monitoring the changes in my heartbeat from the monitor I was wearing around my neck. (I was afraid some sort of alarm was going off somewhere every time Michael would hug me! He still remembers the First Alert lanyard with fondness... ) But Michael was there for me... when I was nervous about the stress tests and the EKGs, he talked me through it, having had to go through similar testing himself. When the doctors discovered an irregular heartbeat and put me on medication to control it, Michael was able to knowingly comfort me because his sister-in-law had been through similar difficulties. God's timing is perfect! After years of waiting and struggling and helping friends get down the aisle, God broke my heart at just the right time so He could provide a man who knew how to help me pick up the pieces.

Our first "official" date was at a nearby Mexican restaurant. Sitting across from Michael at the table, I was suddenly nervous and tongue-tied... what do I say now that we are a "couple"? Michael broke the ice by telling me that after our "chance" dinner and long conversation the summer of 2010, he had spent a number of months trying to figure out how to "casually" visit me in Dar es Salaam. After realizing the excuse "I was in the neighborhood and thought we could have a coffee" wouldn't work, he explained that he had given up on the idea but felt like he couldn't ask me to give up and leave a place where God had asked me to serve. Torn between what he wanted and how he saw God using me, he did the only thing he could do... he didn't tell me to stay or come home, he just prayed for me. (Sometimes prayer moves mountains... and sometimes prayer buys plane tickets to cross an ocean.) After listening to Michael and spending time with him on a date, I drove home and completely freaked out.

"AHHHH! I can't date a guy in America, I live in Africa! And this guy is amazing, but isn't there a rule about friends and boys...? Does dating mean we can't be friends anymore? AHHH! What if there is something seriously wrong with my heart, will he still like me if I'm sick? What if I want to still live overseas and he doesn't? What if he wants to live overseas and I can't anymore? I've never been anyone's girlfriend before, what if I'm really bad at it! AHHHHHH!"

As I freaked out and prayed, God chuckled and led me to Song of Solomon 2: 10-12: "See! The winter is past, the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the Earth; the time of the singing of birds has come...." (Michael told me later about Him using the same verse in their conversation.)
Then God told me to check the list.

"Yeah, right, God. That list is stupid, I made it in college. Everybody says not to have a list. I can't check that."

"Ahem. WHO says not to have a list? I'm GOD, remember? I win. Check the list." (God is very gracious with me when I argue back with Him. :)

I pulled out a wrinkled piece of watercolor paper that I had used my best black pen to write a list of the traits I wanted in a husband my junior year of college... 10 years earlier, a year before I had even met Mike. I was reading a book called Lady in Waiting at the time. This book was pretty big among the single girls in college at the time. It was centered on the life of Ruth and encouraged you not to wait for a man but to serve God faithfully wherever he has you. (Not sure if I would recommend this book now... haven't read it in years. But I guess it was helpful at the time I first read it.) The book also encouraged you to not settle for any man, but to wait for a "Boaz," a loving, faithful man who served God above all else. So I made a list of a number of character traits I wanted in a husband... traits like loving, kind, forgiving, prayerful, seeks appropriate relationships, desires children, etc.all backed up with Biblical evidence... and a few bonus ones like plays the guitar and will dance with me in the kitchen. Over the years, in my cynicism and disappointment, I had crumbled and thrown the list away numerous times. But each time, through my tears, I would feel led to pull it back out and to keep hoping. (I would usually do this while saying something really holy and spiritual like, "Fine, God but you and I both know that this is stupid and pointless. But whatever!" :)

I smoothed out the paper and read through the words that lines of despair had tried to erase. Michael met everyone... almost. He got the bonus round (dancing and playing guitar) but there were 2 on there that I just didn't know about, yet. I hadn't "seen them in action." But I didn't have long to wonder...

The next day I drove to Columbus to meet Michael because before we were dating we had planned a trip to Cleveland to see friends. When Michael opened the door of his house, something was wrong.

"We have to talk," he said.

My heart dropped.  "Well, that didn't last long," I thought. Some stuff had come up during the week that we needed to talk through. So that night, we had our first hard conversation. (You know, the ones you try to avoid but when you finally have them, it's so good to just be able to talk about it?) Normally, this would be another insignificant fact, fading into memory and a catalog of past moments that only resurface when triggered by a short song clip that pounces on you while scanning through radio stations during a commercial break. But this conversation dealt with two very specific things... 2 very specific traits... traits that I hadn't yet seen in Michael... traits that completed a list that I had written 10 years ago while dreaming of another life.

Michael Schlatt was the man of my dreams.
God wasn't kidding when He said Delight yourself in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. (Ps, 37:4)

6 months after our first date, Michael proposed... in a food court at a mall, in front of my family and a number of my friends. He had my sister in on all the planning, so she had an appointment set to shop for wedding dresses the next day. Two days later, we booked the reception hall... the last day open for the entire summer which just happened to be one of our two free weekends.

10 weeks later we were married. Yes it was fast, but when God is in charge of the timing, He makes things happen exactly when they need to.


and whatever became of that pesky heart problem? Michael waited 6 months to propose because we didn't know if I was going to be moving out of the country again. I was supposed to be back in Africa September 2012. But at the end of January, my doctor told me she was going to keep me in the country at least another year until the medication had stabilized me. Shortly after that, Michael started ring shopping. Eight months later, I was seen by a new cardiologist... new marriage, new city, new doctor. This doctor looked at me, looked at my tests, looked at my age, listened to my heart and said, "I don't think you have a heart problem. Get off the medication." So I did. Six weeks later and my EKGs are NORMAL! No medicine, no irregular heartbeat... no heart problem.

Was it a misdiagnosis? Has my heart rehabilitated after an injury in Africa? Have I been miraculously healed? I don't think it matters. God is still in charge of all of it, and He is glorified!

But it does now appear that the purpose of my "heart problem" was to get me State side so God could fulfill my heart's desires! He is mysterious and He does work in His own time, but He is still God and He is oh, SO GOOD!