September 2011... The story of how we "officially" started dating.
Thursday afternoons in Ohio can take on a number of different forms... drippy and chilled, warm sun with a clear sky, grey and despairing. I have no idea which one of these possibilities was THAT Thursday. The weather was unimportant to note on this day, this Thursday, this day that seemed like a regular Thursday. I know I had soup for dinner that night because I always had soup for dinner on Thursday nights. It was a small group night and soup was an integral part of our gatherings. I planned for that. I didn't plan to receive a certain text message from Michael that would change my life. (and yes, it really did feel as dramatic as I am making it sound.)
That Thursday afternoon, I was making banana bread. This fact is normally not worth mentioning since I am always baking some sort of bread type substance that has some form of bananas in it. (You think I'm kidding but I have Banana Muffins in my fridge right now and I am planning on doing some more baking later today. I am so well known for it, in fact, that I once paid rent just by baking banana bread for breakfast every week!) Michael has known me quite awhile, so he knows this thing about Banana Bread and me. Again, usually another non-important fact, which would lead a person to question the validity or wisdom in included a paragraph about Banana Bread in a love story! However, on this day, this Thursday, this non-descript-weather-September-day-in-Ohio-Thursday, I was baking banana bread; and when it was finished, I sent a quick text message to my friend, Mike Schlatt: "I just pulled a loaf of banana bread out of the oven. Haha!"
Yes, it was flirty; yes, it was crossing over the "Are we still just friends?" line; but I did it anyway. And I received two text messages in return...
"You are such a tease."
"I like it."
and my mouth dropped open. I would have stopped perfectly still and pondered the weight of this for a few minutes, but I was coasting down a hill on Sharon Road, driving to small group. There was no time to stop and ponder, no time to wonder about the impact of this on my life, no time to reply. (Not enough stop lights between there and my destination.)
I don't remember anything we studied that night or anything that may or may not have happened over the next few weeks. I remember talking to Michael every night on the phone for the next two weeks. I remember receiving more text messages, of the increasing flirty variety... "I logged onto Facebook just to look at your pictures. Is that creepy?" "If you stop by Columbus on your way home from Cleveland, maybe we can have dinner...?" and "Apple picking with your hair in braids? You're so cute I can't stand it!" My response to all these lovely thoughts? Panic and confusion. I showed the messages to a friend, "What does he mean? What is he saying?"
Her response: "It means he thinks you're cute. He likes you."
"That can't be it. Let's ask your husband, he knows Mike and speaks 'boy'. Let's see what he thinks"
His response: "It means he thinks you're cute. He likes you."
"But what do you think he is trying to say? What is his hidden meaning?"
Their response: "He thinks your're cute. He likes you."
It seemed too good to be true.
As a long-time single girl who had survived numerous heart breaks and had often been treated like the "other girl", the "helpful best friend", and heard the "I'd hate to ruin our friendship by dating you" line, I expected that one day I would just have to settle for "some guy" that I had slowly whittled down through kindness served with baked goods, and after somehow tricking him into marrying me, we would "settle down comfortably" for the rest of our lives. The fact that Michael was calling me, texting me, pursuing me, excited to spend time with ME just seemed too good to be true. I had no idea that he had been praying about it, seeking God's face in it. When I had asked God about the "are we still just close friends?" question, He had always responded, "Wait for Michael." I figured that meant wait until I had worn Michael down enough until he wanted to date me. I had no idea it meant "Wait because he really likes you and wants to pursue you, I just haven't given him the green light, yet." "Wait because this is going to be totally worth it!" "Wait because you Trust Me and oh, have I got something good planned for you!!"
It just seemed too good to be true.
So as I drove home from visiting with friends in Cleveland, I panicked and prayed in the van: "God, what is going to happen?" Not only was I driving towards Columbus to have dinner with this wonderful man who had been sending me all these "confusing" text messages, but I had an important/troubling message to deliver: My Dad wants to meet you.
After leaving Africa, my parents let me move into their guest room. This was a welcome refuge but started to get a bit sticky when I was "communicating" so often with my "friend who is a boy." Yes, I was 32 but I was living at home and I was having dinner with a man who lived out of town and who I tended to turn 2 hour visits into 4 and 6 hour afternoons. This tendency also led me to ask them to set a curfew for me... not as a way of "keeping me out of trouble" but as a way of respecting their boundaries: Would they be okay with me rollin' in at 2 in the morning? Not so much, it turns out. They set the curfew at 10:00 and Dad wanted to meet Michael. How do you tell a guy you're not dating that your Dad wants to meet him?!? Panic. Panic. Panic. and for a girl with a heart problem, this is a bad, bad thing.
I realized I had to calm down before my heart rate got any faster, so I prayed, "God, if you want this to come up in conversation with Mike tonight, just insert it at some point. I don't care how and when you do it, but you have to take care of this. I can't think about it anymore." and I moved on.
40 miles later, as I was still an hour away from his house, Michael called me to see how far away I was and to find out how much time we had for dinner. It was almost 6pm and he was afraid my parents had set my curfew for 8:00.
"My curfew? 10pm."
"Oh, good," he replied. "I'll get some good time to spend with you."
"Good?" I questioned. "That seemed short to me."
"Why?"
IN MY HEAD I thought in response to his question, "Well, when my siblings were dating their spouses, their curfew was midnight." OUT LOUD I said into the phone,
"Well, when my siblings were dating... Oh, oh no! NO, NO, No! That's not what I meant! I mean... oh no!"
and I very nearly swerved off of Interstate 71.
I panicked! Oh, God, I've done it! I've ruined my friendship with Michael! Why do I always do this? I've destroyed it all! Why? Why? Why?
Michael simply laughed into the phone, "I bet you're about 4 shades of red right now."
"I am. I am." I weakly replied.
"Don't worry, I'm not, " was his smooth response. "I'm excited for our date tonight."
and that was it. that was the moment. The moment we became an official couple.
and I very nearly swerved off of Interstate 71.
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