in Love (part 2)

Summer of 2008... 

I was moving to Africa, Michael was going through a divorce. 

At my going away party, we both cried... a lot... afraid that we would never see each other again. 

We didn't speak to each other for 2 years.
I couldn't be that girl... the girl he ran to to process his divorce, his rebound.
I had to hope, pray, fast for the restoration of his marriage. Anything else seemed cruel and self-serving.

But he was still one of my ministry support partners. A small thing that made a BIG difference... it kept us connected. We didn't speak or email, but he read my prayer letters. He shared my life through blog posts. and God told him to wait... don't date, don't search. Song of Solomon 2:7... Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. So Michael waited.

Summer of 2010...

I was in Ohio on Home Assignment. A friend's wedding in Columbus, visiting friends in Cleveland, driving through Columbus... one night, two free hours... I wondered if Mike was free for dinner. After all, he was part of my support team and one of the goals of home assignment is to reconnect with supporters. But he was a single guy, I was a single girl... it seemed weird to call up and say, "Hey, how 'bout dinner?" So I emailed his best friend's wife... were they free? Could we all have dinner, maybe? (Side note: They are also my friends... they bought my house when I left for Africa. Yes, God has a good time with me. :)

The verdict? Yes, in fact, they were already planning to have dinner together THAT night at THAT time because Mike was going to babysit afterwards. But would it be okay if they left quickly afterwards for a church function? I could still hang out with Mike if I wanted to...

um, yes!

I was supposed to be home at 8:00 that night. I got home at 11:30 because Mike and I talked for 3 hours.
I got home and told my sister, "I'm very confused! Mike is so great! But I'm leaving for Africa again next week. I don't know what to do!!" She smiled.

a week later, I got back on an airplane.

Winter 2010...

I'm back in Ohio to meet my new niece. I plan to visit Mike the week after Christmas. Instead, I end up in an emergency room and a quarantined hospital bed with a strange case of pneumonia that I am unable to shake. But I don't tell Mike... I don't want him to see me like this!

It takes a month to get back to Tanzania. I finally get back on the plane, back to the heat, back to my life... a week goes by and God convicts... Email Mike.

"What? Seriously, God, you've got to be kidding me. I'm not doing that." Off to bed, tossing, turning, resisting... 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes...  after an hour I finally give in and do what God wants me to. I send off a message...

"Hey, just wondering how you're doing... sorry I missed you, I was in the hospital or something like that. You know, I'm casual and cool. No big deal. whatever."
Your friend,
Kate.

Then I waited... hoping to see his name in my inbox. One day, two. There it is! There it is! I mean, I'm casual and cool. No big deal. whatever.

We emailed a lot... back and forth.. always anticipating, wondering, hoping to see his name in my inbox. I was still struggling to breathe, to cope. Everyone in Tanzania wanted me to stay. Everyone in Ohio wanted me to come home. Mike said, "I'm praying for you." He became my safe space to process and think.

Spring 2011...

Packing up my home in Tanzania, earlier than expected. Hoping to return. Wanting to stay, but needing to go. Back in Ohio, I struggled to heal. Doctors tested and wondered... my lungs were clear but my heart was a problem. More tests, medication, doctors visits. This is not the life I wanted! GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Trust me.

One Saturday afternoon, Michael emailed: was I free for lunch tomorrow?

Yes. Inexplicably, yes. My family was leaving town, but I was staying. How about we meet halfway between Cincinnati and Columbus? I think there's an outlet mall there. (Oh, good. Not romantic. We are still just friends.)

Lunch was wonderful. After talking for 4 hours, I realized that spending time with Michael just made me want to spend more time with Jesus. He talked about Him like a close friend and his "God stories" made me want to experience more of His presence. 

After lunch, we emailed more, we texted, we talked on the phone. 

Labor Day, 2011...

Mike suggests we meet for lunch again. Really, the outlet mall again? No, he says, and he drives away... through cornfields and pastures we talk and share more stories. Funny stories about the students in my Youth Group, amazing stories about his moments with the worship band. We get to an artsy, college town filled with hippies, coffee shops and painted murals. We have lunch, then go for a walk. We have coffee, then go for another walk. He drives to a state park; we hike around. He return me to the outlet mall and my minivan where we watch the sunset. 

As he hugs me good-bye, I try really hard not to say anything incriminating. I try really hard not to do anything incriminating. Sigh. Just get in the van and drive away. 

When I get home (6 hours late) Mom remarks, "So, how was it?"

The most romantic non-date I've ever had. 

When Mike gets home, his housemate comments, "So...?"

Mike responds, "Come on, God. Do I still have to wait?"

God responds, "Song of Solomon. 2:7-13... Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires... See? The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the Earth; the season of singing has come. 

Yes, now is the time. Go for it!" 

(I promise I'm not purposely building suspense here... it's just a long story so I figured I'd break it up. Wednesday I'll post PART 3... how the dating, engagement and marriage happened. Oh yes, and whatever became of that heart problem? :)