Muse, muse, muse... I'm only a few weeks away from leaving Dar for, what could be, a long time. And I am still trying to process it. As I organize filing cabinets, re-write curriculum maps and photocopy assembly music, I am listening to people say, "Kate, go home NOW. You can't breathe!" While that is true, I am also watching the faces of my 10th graders drop when I say, "Your exam is in a month, but I am leaving in 2 weeks," or listen to my 9th graders who so sweetly ask, "But will next year's teacher be as good as you?" To the people who want me to stay, I have to say, "I'm sorry but it will be better if I leave" and to the people who say "Leave now!" I have to say, "I'm sorry but it's better that I stay for a little while." To both I say, "Please pray that I can endure."
I am studying Hebrews with a group of women every other Monday night. Last week, we started a brief outline of the "Hall of Faith" Chapter... Hebrews 11. One of the things we talked about were the "rewards" for the faith of all of these people mentioned, and how they died without ever receiving the "promises." But yet, they endured. Our study concluded with the first few verses from Chapter 12... "Consider Jesus... who, for the joy set before Him, endured..." We talked about the point that the author was trying to make for the Hebrews who had and were enduring heavy persecution for their faith... the encouragement this message of promised rewards must have been. An encouragement to endure... because of the Home that awaited them.
My last few weeks in Dar have been and are a slow walk of endurance. (I say walk because there is no running for me right now.) Every day it is hard to breath. Every lecture I have to speak softly and pray the students in the back won't be too loud. Every moment I hope that the power stays on so that I can sit in the dry, air-conditioned air. But I will endure for two more weeks. Because there is still a job for me to do, students to teach, curriculums to map. Acts of service that were designed for me and that God is giving me the ability to complete. But I can endure for two more weeks... because I know that at the end of this is a plane ride, Dad-hugs, Mom-cooked meals, cuddles and movies on the couch with my sisters, and help. At the end of this is Home.
2 comments:
Kate...what a beautiful and difficult lesson you share with us now...no matter how far away, you are always close in our hearts...your faith and courage are an example of the most sincerest walk with Christ that is truly the joy in it's devine profoundness! Love you kiddo, and hope to see you well and rested soon. Auntie Lisa
Kate: You said in November: So it is with God and prayer. I'll keep praying, enduring until a "problem" is solved, because God is the only one who can meet the need. He is the only option. So if He says pray, then I will pray. Not because I want Him to change His mind but because He told me to.
We will continue praying that God will show you his desires for you once you are back in the USA with constant air-conditioning and a clearer mind free from the medications that have been making your brain "foggy".
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